š By Dr. Lisa Hoover

I used to celebrate my wins.
Back in my other life, I had a systemāhit a goal, buy myself something nice. Not so much a luxury handbag, but the latest tech gadget. Something shiny to symbolize my success.
And for a moment, it worked. The rush of accomplishment, the dopamine hit of a purchaseāit felt like proof. See? You did something worth celebrating.
But what happened?
If there was a handbag, it stayed in its dust bag. The gadget? Used a few times, then forgotten in a drawer. The excitement wore off before the credit card bill even arrived.
And now?
Now, I donāt celebrate at all. Or maybe, I should say, I yearn for celebrationābut not from myself. I want it from outside of me.
I wrote a book. No parade.
I published an eBook. A few sales.
I built a magazine from scratch. But itās not reaching thousands yet.
Somewhere along the way, I married success with a specific outcome.
And if I donāt hit that outcome? The win doesnāt count.
This mindset has been sitting with me, and I wonderedāwhat does that do to a person psychologically? What happens when you achieve and achieve, but the feeling of success never arrives?
Letās talk about it.

š The Neuroscience of Why We Struggle to Celebrate
Celebrating milestones isnāt just about feeling goodāitās a scientifically proven performance strategy.
š§ When we recognize progress, our brain releases dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for motivation and reward. This creates a feedback loopāthe more we celebrate, the more motivated we are to keep going.
But hereās the problem: when we set rigid expectations for what success āshouldā look like, we rob ourselves of that reward.
š Harvard Business Review found that teams who recognized small wins were 31% more productive than those who only celebrated major milestones. Why? Because progress, not perfection, is what drives sustainable success.
So when I published a book but didnāt hit a million sales?
When the magazine launched but didnāt reach thousands?
When the eBook went live but had only three buyers?
Instead of feeling proud of what was created, I only saw what wasnāt.
Thatās when success stops being fulfilling and starts feeling like a moving goalpost.

š” The “Moving Goalpost Syndrome”
Hereās the loop Iāve found myself in (and maybe you have too):
1ļøā£ I Set a Goal. Write a book. Launch an eBook. Build a magazine.
2ļøā£ I Achieve the Goal. ā
3ļøā£ I Move the Goalpost. āBut did it sell a million copies?ā āDid it reach thousands?ā āDid it get enough likes, shares, recognition?ā
4ļøā£ I Ignore the Success and Start Over. š
The truth is, I donāt struggle with achievement. I struggle with acknowledgment.
š How to Redefine Success & Actually Feel It
I donāt have this all figured out yet. But I know one thing:
š” If I donāt start celebrating success now, I never will.
So, if youāre like meāstruggling to feel successful even when you achieve incredible thingsāhereās what Iām challenging myself (and you) to do:
š¹ 1. Acknowledge Progress, Not Just Outcomes.
- The book exists.
- The eBook exists.
- The magazine exists.
These things didnāt exist before. That is success.
š¹ 2. Separate Success from External Validation.
Would you say Oprah isnāt successful because someone, somewhere, doesnāt like her work? No. But we do that to ourselves all the time.
š¹ 3. Define Celebration Differently.
Maybe itās not about buying a thing. Maybe itās about pausing to feel the moment. Sitting with the success instead of rushing to the next thing.
šÆ Food for Thought: What If We Let Ourselves Arrive?
If I donāt celebrate now, THEN when?
If success is always ājust over the horizon,ā will I ever let myself arrive?
Really take a moment to sit with that question! Then do something [BE HONEST and let go!]
Iām making a change. Iām challenging myself to pause, reflect, and acknowledge.Ā Not when I hit some arbitrary external metric. But now.
What about you?
Whatās a milestone YOUāVE been ignoring?
Letās celebrate it right now. Drop it in the comments. ššš¾